it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
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