then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
