what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
