I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
