you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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