My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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