halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
