Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
be right there i have to get my cape
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize
