I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
