If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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