dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
