I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
