Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
