Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize
