The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
