"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
