they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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