i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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