but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
