pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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