his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
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