Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
