that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
