So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It all started with a game of naked twister.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize