how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
