you told grandpa to call you daddy
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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