what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
