I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize