True but thats because hes a fetus.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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