they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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