He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
