There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
