I'm so fucking centered right now
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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