This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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