a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
