if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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