so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
