I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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