you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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