I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
why does every cop we meet know your name?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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