I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I will be naked everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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