Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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