Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
