Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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