why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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