It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
