This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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