I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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