She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You have to summon your inner elephant
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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