I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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