He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
