Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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