Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
