Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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