hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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