I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
