Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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