ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Drunk is not a location!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
