Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
