When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
