so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
