how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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