he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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