but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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