those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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