woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
