I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
