Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up