YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
